Winner Takes All Ch. 3

Chapter 3 - Battle For Dummies

I slept through the entire day, in the end. I eventually came round when Nicole quite literally rolled me out of bed and onto the floor, hitting the ground with a thump and groaning as I opened my eyes. Looking up I saw Lewis stood in front of me, an eyebrow cocked on the Nuzleaf's face. 'Not very inspiring,' he muttered.

'Er...' I sought creatively for a justification, but settled in the end for 'no, not really' after futile search. 'Have I missed too much of the day?'

'All of it,' Lewis said completely offhandedly, as if this was regular occurrence. 'If you come tomorrow they shouldn't mind too much.'

'What'd I tell you, Rob?' Nicole said with a smile as she stretched out on her bed. 'They can't punish you if they don't know you're there.'

'That's not what you actually said,' Lewis replied, now raising his eyebrow at the Nidorina, who stuck her tongue out in reply.

I raised myself up on my coils - a surprisingly fluid movement for one I wouldn't have thought possible mere days ago. 'So, now what? What do we do after class?'

'Whatever you like,' Nicole said as she sat up on the bed. 'Me, I was gonna have a nap, but if you want a tour I could give you one. I know where all the interesting bits are.'

'No thanks,' I answered reassuringly. 'I guess that's what they put the navigation panels in for, right? How hard can it be?'

'I'm going training,' Lewis said immediately, striding for the door. 'I'll see you two later for dinner.' Without a single word wasted further, he tapped the door to slide open and left.

I looked at Nicole, who made an exasperated face in turn. 'Lewis trains almost every day. It's kind of a big deal to him. Don't worry... you just have to get past his surface. It took me, like, months but he definitely considers me a solid friend. It'd just be nice if he took it easy on you as well.'

'What does he train for?' I asked, letting the comment about time investment slide.

'You'll see. When the Red Lightning shows up, you'll definitely see.'

My eye flicked over to the suitcase in the corner of the room, innocent, unassuming and clamped shut. This base seemed to have a lot of hidden secrets to offer. Maybe you should be careful - curiosity kills cats, so goodness knows what it does to snakes.

'Come on.' Nicole hopped off the bed and rotated the cricks out of her neck, making me wince. 'In the absence of our third musketeer, I, Nicole, insist on giving you a mini-tour. Even if it's only to the entertainment area, because I could do with a gaming match against some punks. Come on, I insist.'

I didn't get much choice in the matter, since she literally dragged me out by the tail.


---


And so it was the next day that I began Pokeuman school. The teachers, just as Nicole promised, had no idea who I was until I showed up, although they all had a good eye for the new species in the class. Maths was, well, Maths, but Pokeuman History was a departure from the usual kind of lesson I had at home. Despite mutterings that we'd be discussing the development of everything from pizza to Chosen Ones to 'That tour of the entire damn base' in pre-Great War times, we actually were introduced to a series notable figures of the last century and then the teacher explained how their different Pokeuman genes - fully expressed or just partially - made them who they were and helped them do what the renowned things did. I wouldn't have believed it if they didn't have the official genome diagrams to go with them. That, as you can imagine, caught my attention pretty fast - I could only wonder what future lessons would be like. The world was constantly changing around me, and even things that I thought were certain turned out to not be so. One thing is certain about this new life - it's never boring.

But... It wasn't easy either, I found. I physically had no limbs. Never mind taking notes (a task currently less feasible than walking from here to the Moon), even simple things like opening doors and using chairs were becoming difficult. As I hoisted myself onto seats I was always certain I could hear snickering behind me, and that made me more uncomfortable. Just another reminder of my disturbing new form, and everything I'd left behind. I didn't feel scared... But I didn't exactly feel exhilarated either.

After all that, I eventually found myself outside the school's own gymnasium, about to embark on gym class with no limbs. Oh joy. Nonetheless I pushed my way through the door into the room, and remained incognito for all of three minutes before the Druddigon at the front with pectoral muscles the size of my head summoned me up virtually by dragging me to the head of the class. Despite having been here only a day, I was already feeling déjà vu.

'Alright then,' she said as she looked down at me, the female voice catching me by surprise as I caught my breath again, 'you look like a fresh specimen. Name?'

'Er, Rob.'

'This is Rob,' the Druddigon re-stated, turning back to the class and fixing each and every one of them with a piercing stare. 'Now I know I don't normally tell you to hold back on people but this guy has no arms, so I want some sort of way to compensate for this. Fail to do so and I crack some heads, clear?'

'Yes, miss.' Judging by the class' nervous tone, this was not an empty threat.

'Good.' The teacher turned her head back to me. 'In case you didn't check the schedule, I am Mrs Masaye (silent e).' I blinked - this was one of the first people I had met who could pronounce brackets. 'If you stay on my good side, Rob, you'll find me perfectly reasonable. If not...' Her tone carried her meaning clearly. 'Understood?'

'Y-Yes miss!'

'Excellent. The exercise drill has been put back to next week to give the new kid a chance.' I could see the wiped brows and there was the sound of several relieved sighs among the class. 'Now divide into three teams and lets start today's game.' Mrs Masaye (silent e) clapped her hands together and immediately people began hurrying to the sides of the room. I took a random guess and, lacking either of my roommates sharing this class with me, hurried for the side with the most tough-looking species on it.

And I thought the academic classes were hard.

Imagine playing a sport - pick any - without using your arms. Now imagine your legs have been gaffa-taped together. Your only way to interact with the ball, or any of the other equipment, is by headbutting it or swiping with your legs. Sounds hard, right?

Now imagine playing on a field of animals out of a local zoo. Including the elephants.

Whenever I was making sure not to be trampled on I managed to raise myself up to try and follow proceedings, only to find them somewhere else in the field, or if they were nearby the ball or whatever we were using was in a difficult position to reach in a single lunge - which is about all you can do in a hurry from that position. And when the balls did come near me, I could only headbutt it vaguely towards the other team members, swipe it with my tail blade and just desperately pray it doesn't take an eye out or try and dodge it, made harder by having an eight-foot-long body. My contribution was almost precisely nothing. I was embarrassed, out-classed, useless, inaccurate, ignored, squashed, neglected and at one point stood on. Truly miserable by the end as the game finished (our team won, but not by my efforts) and we left the pitch, a weight sank in my chest. What a farce.

A hand landed just behind my head as I moved out to the leave the room at the end of the lesson and I stopped immediately, looking up into the face of Mrs. Masaye. 'So,' the Dragon said, 'seems you were having some difficulty.'

I sighed dejectedly. 'That's not half of it. I just... I was hopeless, miss. I used to be alright at sports, but now I'm just... hopeless. After this morning being a mess, this was a disaster. I feel like such a fool.'

'On the contrary, boy,' Mrs Masaye said, and I was genuinely shocked by the new softness in her voice, 'you met my expectations and I never ask my students for more. You did you best you could under trying circumstances. In a sense, you worked harder than most of the others in this class today.'

I blinked, totally lost for words. 'R-Really?'

'In fact, you have an impressive turn of speed in that body. Your natural ability, as well, is not inconsiderable. What you need to do is stop worrying under stress and go with your new instincts, if you can recognise them.'

'I...' I gazed up at her, my jaw slack. In seconds, my whole standing point had been reversed on me. 'I, uh- Thank you, miss. I'll try. I'll try the hardest I can, I promise. …Thank you very much.'

A smile played across the Druddigon's mouth. 'Don't expect my expectations to remain so low once you get those new arms of yours, boy.'

I smiled back. Ok, so I goofed up. No-one knows all the answers on the first day. I just... I guess I just had to keep at it. There was no point giving up after one bad experience, was there?

'Don't you have class to go to?'

'Y-Yes miss!'


---


Battle Class. If I ever had mixed feelings, it was now - it could be an exciting and worthwhile opportunity, or it could be another round of public disgrace. No, I ought to be more positive. More positive... I sighed as I looked down at myself and my tubular body for the hundredth time in two days. I certainly wasn't the perfect candidate, that's for sure.

Determined to make the best of a bad job, I followed the other Pokeumans entering the classroom and slipped in while the door was open. The room was large - desks at one end for theory-related aspects (at a guess), but several open battle areas marked out on the floor. In one of these arenas a selection of battered and somewhat forlorn looking dummies stood, or in some cases slumped, to attention and generally looked like they'd rather be back in the crash tester.

I had never been so grateful to see Nicole, hurrying over where she sat at a bench idly rolling a pencil between her fingers. She looked up in slight surprise as I slithered over, my relief clear on my expression to see a familiar face. 'Oh! Hey Rob, I didn't... expect to see you here. Makes sense having us Poison types together. Go on, take a seat. So,' she continued as I pulled myself round, 'how's your first day going?'

I sighed. 'Not brilliantly.' I gave her a potted summary of my experiences so far, Nicole nodding and listening patiently. At the end she closed her eyes and said 'Wow, sounds like a fun time. Well, I guess if it's first day for you you'll find it hard - we all had new changes to cope with. But it gets better with time, I assure you. I was-'

Her reassurance wasn't very reassuring in reality, but she was cut off here by a Heracross walking in through the door after everyone else and coming round behind the desk at the front, on top of which stood a small plaque saying 'Mr. Nozika.' Putting down his stack of papers, he looked at the room and briskly said 'Good afternoon. Battle Class is about to begin. Please, you three, stop with the talking. Thank you very much. Hm...' His eyes scanned the room and the seated students, eventually stopping on me. 'An unfamiliar face? Are you new to this school, boy?'

'Yes,' I answered confidently, despite feeling put on the spot.

'I see. Well, I believe the tradition is to get new students down to the front to demonstrate their new moves, so come on. Now,' he asked me as I slithered my way forward, ducking past various others in their seats, 'what's your name, lad?'

'Rob,' I replied as I made it to the front. 'Rob West. New to the base.'

For a fraction of a second I thought I saw a look pass across Mr. Nozika's face, but then I blinked and it was gone.

'Right. Rob. Another name to remember. Well then...' Directing me away from the seats and towards the arena with the dummies, the whole room craning their heads to follow, he gave me a shove so that I was at the front. Before me stood a dummy that had seen better days, or even years. 'First time for a new person. As I said before, you get to show us your attacks.'

I swallowed. 'Attacks?' I hadn't so much as thought about it. I'd been too worried with simple things like moving.

'Yes,' Mr. Nozika repeated calmly. 'It should come naturally to you. Just focus on the dummy.'

'Right. Um. Ok.'

I glanced over my 'shoulder'. Everyone was watching.

I looked back at the dummy again. Ok. Whatever comes naturally.

Um...

'Is there some sort of problem, Mr. West?'

Sweat was breaking out on the back of my head, and I didn't even know snakes had sweat glands. My mind was a blank slate.

There was a polite cough somewhere behind me.

Nothing was coming to me at all. No moves, no techniques, no nothing. I hadn't the faintest idea.

Everyone was still staring.

One thing I knew would work. I unhinged my jaws and leaned forward awkwardly, looking more like I was about to passionately kiss it than anything harmful. In the deep silence of the room, I wrapped my mouth around part of the dummy's torso and bit down as hard as I could, the splintering crunch of the dummy's frame echoing.

There was a set of deep parallel grooves left etched into the dummy's surface. I hacked and wheezed, my mouth full of sawdust.  'Hm, Bite.' Mr. Nozika said commentarily behind me. 'Not the most useful move for a Poison type to have, but at least it's a start. Next move?'

Ugh... I swallowed, the taste still clogging my mouth. For the first time I was grateful that I had no teeth for it to stick in. I stared desperately at the dummy again, but it just looked inanimately back at me. Nothing came to mind. Nothing at all.

Well... I'm a snake, right? I'll be able to use Wrap, or Bind or something. Testily, I start to wind around the dummy, head-first. Unfortunately, when I came back round again I managed plunge off over the top of my own tail, my head crashing down on my eight-foot-long body. There was the sound of snickering from somewhere in the room.

'I think I see what you're doing,' I heard Mr. Nozika's patient voice. 'Please, try again.' As little as I wanted to, I did try again.

And again. And again. And again.

After about attempt number seven, by which time I had successfully reached the dummy's lower ribcage before crashing down either from momentum or overbalance or my own weight, I felt the teacher's hand on my head. 'Alright,’ he said, ‘I see this clearly isn't working. Do you agree?' I nodded miserably. 'Very well. Callum, with me. We're going to fetch Sarah from Room 84.'

'Yes, sir,' a Whimsicott in the class sighed as he floated up and followed Mr. Nozika out of the classroom. The door slamming shut had an ominous foreboding in the silence.

Mercifully, absence of the teacher prompted the natural reaction in teenagers, to start talking to each other. I saw Nicole shaking her head, pinching her large forehead between her fingers. I sighed too. Forget Gym class, that was a public spectacle of failure. No amount of sugar-coating covered my utter screwup. I should probably quit the whole thing now. My head, and heart, sank.

'Hey!' I turned my head suddenly to the Skarmory that emerged from the crowd, walking slowly towards me. 'Can't get your moves working, huh?'

His tone wasn't mocking, but it carried disdain on every syllable and there wasn't the slightest jot of sympathy. Despite this, I raised my ex-eyebrows openly. 'Um, no... They just won't come to me-'

'You know what you need?' There was a noise that can only be described as 'Shing!' and suddenly all eyes were silently on the Skarmory as he stood opposite me, his wing swung low like a human would hold a broadsword. 'A battle, that's what. With your adrenaline going, who knows what you'll produce, hm? In the heat of the moment? Let's try it.' Slowly, he advanced on me.

I backed away nervously. 'Ah, look, I just... I don't think that's going to be a good idea...'

'Nonsense.' The Skarmory raised his extended wing to in front of his face. 'It'll do you wonders, Rob. Just you and me. Let's do it, right now.'

The light shone off the metal surface and blade-like edge of the serrated wing straight into my centre of attention. 'Um, really, I don't think-'

A funny look had cone into the Skarmory's eyes, and his tone was low and menacing. 'Come on Rob. Let's have a fight now, and settle this. I can sort this all out now-'

'No!'

I opened my eyes, not realising that I'd flinched and closed them. The metal wing that a millisecond before had been in a downward swing that could have seared off my scales and plowed into my torso, was dead still between Mr. Nozika's fingertips. The classroom door had barely even shut. Between us, the teacher narrowed his eyes at the Steel type. 'Unauthorised battles are not permitted during my lessons. You fool, I was only just going beyond next door. I dictate how battles are carried out here, not you.'

The Skarmory glared deep into Mr. Nozika's eyes. 'My apologies, sir,' he said without the slightest hint of apology. 'I thought this was a reasonable chance.'

'Not in my lessons, you won't. Now, back off.'

The Skarmory retreated with as little as a scowl in our general direction. However, I saw Nicole moving stealthily towards me. 'Rob!' she hissed.

'Now,' Mr. Nozika was saying, 'we'll show Sarah in if there's no further interruptions. It may be a wise idea to stand back.'

'What?' I hissed back.

'I know Sarah, a little. Look, when she comes in, just... try not to kill her, ok? She's not your actual enemy.'

'What? Why would I-'

'I said stand back, kindly.' Reluctantly, Nicole retreated, leaving me even more bemused. What could possibly be wrong with this girl? I'd never even hurt a fly, within reason. Why did Nicole look so worried?

'Callum, show Sarah in.'

'Yes, sir.'

'Alright then,' a girl's voice from the door drawled loosely, 'where's this guy you wanted me to- You!'

I turned to face this new arrival. She wouldn't be that bad, I knew; she'd simply be a person who knew how to coach me on this, or has experience dealing in this area or something. There'd be absolutely no reason we should be-

My eyes lay sight on the figure at the door.

Overwhelming hatred consumed my mind. My eyes narrowed to slits and my heartbeat pulsed in my ears. Without even knowing my tail blade whipped up and scraped across the floor this way and that, wheted for battle. In that second I wanted nothing more than to utterly destroy and decimate, lay waste to the thing I saw in front of me. The girl, the enemy, the...

Zangoose.

'Oh brother,' I couldn't hear Nicole saying.

I let loose a scathing hiss that would make a lion back down and launched myself at her from across the room, fangs outstretched. The Zangoose swept her leg out and swung a low fist that sent me flying away, my tongue flailing as I went. I hit the ground in a heap and there was a second of strange clarity of mind, but then I raised my head again and the red rage descended upon me once more.

My enemy was coming towards me now, her claws readied to strike. Before she could, though, I swept out my tail from underneath myself and knocked her off her feet, onto the floor where she belonged. Leaping at her, I swung my tail again at the downed figure and this time the Poison Tail tore straight across her chest fur. I went to swing my other end with a Bite but suddenly her arm came up and she flipped me over myself, a harsh Crush Claw raking down my body. Damn it! I will not lose to this cat-monster, not in a million years!

I opened my mouth and a spray of toxic Venoshock flew out, coating her face and body in purple seeping fluid. She dropped my body, spluttering as she did, and I took another swipe at her with my venomous blade. She must be poisoned by now, surely. Oh no wait, she has that bloody Immunity ability! I hate that move!

The Zangoose shot her glare down at me, the purple venom already draining out of her fur. She swung a great Fire Punch at my head and I swerved around it, but then her other hand came round and she punched my body, making me hiss in pain. Why must I be such a big target? I instinctively coiled into a pyramid and hissed aggressively at her. She didn't seem any less angry, but then I couldn't be any more angry.

'I'll skin you, snake!' the girl shouted threateningly. 'You'll regret the day you were ever even born!'

'That'll be hard to do when you're a fur coat!' I roared, and launched myself from my elevated position at her flank. I Bit down on contact, making her gasp in pain, feeling the toxin flow through my fangs. Hehe... That actually feels kind of good, in a fizzy way...

Her Fire Punch came down again, but I swung my Poison Tail and knocked her fist out of the air. What? Does she want me to give her another loser scar across her eye? Suddenly though I felt my fangs being ripped out of her side, and for a second I looked up into her face, a picture of hatred that told a thousand words, before she Power-Up Punched me all the way across the room. For a second I hit the floor and lay unmoving, but then I whipped back up and hissed vehemently. Focusing my energies downwards, I plowed underneath the ground. It was dark, it was disgusting, the soil filled my mouth with its taste, but I didn't care. All that mattered was beating this, my greatest enemy.

Where is she... Where is she...

Vibrations! Aha! Now!

I surged upwards, the ground exploding around me as I shot out the ground. The Zangoose was bowled over as I raised my fangs to strike, and-

'Excellent. Just what I was hoping for.'

I blinked. In what seemed like a millisecond Mr Nozika had swung in, grasped me by the throat and snatched up Sarah by scruff of her neck. We hung, both suspended off the ground and face-to-face in the teacher's grip, our faces less than a metre apart. I blinked. There was a terrifying sense of clarity in my mind now, something gone that I had barely realised was there. What... What have I been doing?...

Sarah squirmed like a naught kitten. Mr. Nozika just smiled. 'I suspected a truly irresistible battle would get Rob's moveset out in the open. Poison Tail, Bite, Venoshock, Dig. Not bad on the whole, although maybe swap Bite for Crunch.'

My eyes flitted back up at Sarah, who looking me in the eye for a second and then bashfully turned the other way. Even now, something about just looking at her made me feel angry, but it wasn't what it was before. What... was it before?

The teacher looked between the two of us as the rest of the class stared on. 'Well? What do you say now?'

Sarah looked at me again. She seemed robbed of her pride to even be in this situation. Slowly, in a tone of damning with faint praise, she said 'That was a good fight... for a snake.'

I forced my tongue to move in all the necessary ways. 'You... too. It was a good challenge.'

Another sustained pause. I swallowed. 'My name's Rob.'

'Sarah.'

So far we hadn't killed each other. Good.

'I'm going to let Sarah go first,' Mr. Nozika said, 'and she can leave and back to her class. Then I will let Rob go. Clear?'

We both nodded awkwardly.

'Good.' He let go of Sarah's scruff and she fell to the floor in a bundle, mewing as she hit the ground. Drawing herself to her full height again and dusting herself down as she stood, she looked much stronger now she was free. Her very stance suggested someone in control of themselves and everything they do. Her eyes locked with mine again and there was hardness in them, of course, but also - respect. And in turn, she'd impressed me. I suddenly felt quite bad about trying to kill her.

Without another word said, she turned and stalked out of the room. Once the door closed, Mr. Nozika released my hold and I crumpled to the floor in a heap. I shook my head and glanced around as the teacher calmly returned to the head of the room, looked at all the faces staring across the room and said 'Well? Don't you have assignments to be doing?'

There was sudden rush of activity as everyone sought something to do that didn't involve me in the slightest. Wincing and wishing I could at least rub my temple, I returned to my seat next to Nicole. 'Ahh... My head... How did I?...'

Nicole sighed. 'Isn't it obvious? Zangoose and Seviper have been mortal enemies for as long as records exist.  Apparently it's ingrained into them on an almost cellular level. You didn't do anything, it's just natural. And irresistible. You're not bad, you're just... unlucky.'

'I... Right...' I was just staring, zoned out. My body... I was naturally driven to attack Zangooses. It doesn't make you a bad person, Rob, I tried to assure myself. It's just... The sheer power of the anger that carried me away was incredible. Terrifying. I didn't know I had something like that in me. Maybe I only have it for people like her. I hope so.

'Mr. West, as surprised as you are, may I suggest that you start work on something more productive? You cannot pass school just by lying there.'

'Y-Yes sir,' I said quickly. The Heracross just smiled at me.


---


It was later that day, after Battle Class - my last lesson - had ended. At first all I'd wanted in the world was a lie down. I felt physically and mentally drained. The battle with Sarah had taken things out of me I never knew I had. But after a (quite brief) replenishment period in our room, Nicole and I came to the reasoning that this was a training chance to strike while the iron was hot. I would say that Lewis made his excuses, but his excuse was really just 'It's none of my business'. Perfectly content to let us got on with it, he said that he had his own things to be doing, and I got the feeling that no amount of reasoning would get him to come along with us. And so we two Poison types ended up outside the school's own gymnasium, with the intent to sort out my moves and help me get to grasps with them.

Opening the door, I was greeted with fire. I blinked. The fire focused into a shape, a small, contained flame between and just in front of my eyes, right behind the door. I was going cross-eyed just looking at it. It appeared to be at the end of something.

I looked up slowly. There was a figure hanging right behind the sliding door, dangling from above with his burning tail right before my face. I could see red and hear rope creaking.

'Er, hello?' I experimented.

'Oh!' The voice from above was our age and understandably surprised. 'Er, hello. You couldn't...' There was some sort of gesture in the shadows above. '...help me down, could you?'

It took several minutes between my tail and his claws to clumsily cut through the rope, causing him to come crashing down to the floor below in a sprawl. Coughing in the raised dust, I saw the Charmeleon sit up and rub his head. 'Er, thanks... I... wasn't sure how long I was going to be up there for...'

'What were you doing up there anyway?' Nicole asked as she undid the lasso around the Charmeleon's waist. 'Seems like an odd place to hang around, forgive my pun.'

'Oh... Well...' The Fire type squirmed uncomfortably. 'It was an elaborate plan, that's all. I think I may have messed it up for someone else, that's not good... Um...'

'You've got weird friends, that's for sure,' I said conversationally, not noticing the serious distress on the Charmeleon's face. 'What's your name, anyway?'

The Charmeleon blinked in the direction he faced, as if startled by the question. 'I- Oh. What's yours?'

I rolled with it. 'Rob. Nice to meet you.'

The Fire type suddenly snapped his head up towards me, fixing me with his full attention as if he'd never seen a Pokeuman before. 'R-Rob? As in, Rob West?'

'Er... Yeah... What's all the drama?'

The Charmeleon stared at me still for several seconds, then suddenly said 'Right. I've got to go. Now.'

I frowned as he pushed up. 'Why? What's eating you, pal?'

'Yeah,' Nicole said as she reached for his shoulder, 'you seem pretty shaken, are you sure we're not-'

Her hand barely touched the Charmeleon's scales but he suddenly flinched away, his teeth gritted and his eyes squeezed shut.

Nicole seemed frozen in position. 'Are you alright?'

The Charmeleon suddenly sprang up and to his feet, and was out of the door and halfway down the hallway before we could react.

I stared. Unsure of how to deal with this, I eventually shrugged him off. 'I guess some people just get funny days, y'know.'

'Mm. Yeah. Anyway, about these moves you wanted to train?'

'Right.' Looking round the expansive, empty room, I assessed my options. 'Do they have training dummies down here too?'

'Yeah, although there's other things down here as well if you want.' Nicole suddenly stopped, and cocked her head in thought. 'In fact, screw all them. Practice on me.'

'What, on you? Are you sure?'

'Poison, Rob, it means nothing to me. Come on, hit me with what you've got.' She walked about two feet away, turned and faced me. 'Go on, start with Venoshock. It's easy - it's basically a really dangerous form of spitting.'

Alright. Time to start. I rolled my tongue in my mouth, trying to generate venom. Nothing- No, wait. It formed a stark, sour taste in my mouth, but one that seemed strangely agreeable. I churned it over a few times for maximum potency, then suddenly launched it at Nicole. I hit her, but only by average. It really went everywhere.

Nicole wiped up some of the venom on her finger and sucked it as if testing a soufflé. 'Mm, not bad. Pretty effective concoction you've got going on there. Might want to practice getting me with more of it next time. Go on, have another go.'

And that was how training worked – largely, trial and improvement. Eventually I got it a little more under control and Nicole moved further away, starting the whole process again. After we worked up to me managed to get her (on the whole) from about a few of yards away she moved in again and started moving as I aimed. This turned out to be a bit more of my Kryptonite - I kept missing and had to spray my shot a bit wider to get her, but that meant there was less effect in the move. I was pleased that I was better overall by the time we stopped, but I was also somewhat worried about the whole thing. They make it look so easy in the games, when aiming is just down to a stat and damage varies on random numbers rather than concentration and technique.

Nicole offered for me to stop there, but I said I wanted to do some more before we had to quit. Since Dig mostly works on instincts and being able to track something properly, which I was fairly confident in my ability to do, and there's very little skill in Biting things other than 'Do it properly', I tried to get my Poison Tail working. Swinging it through tight angles and getting an opponent who ducks and dodges a lot was proving to be a challenge, but I felt kind of good for doing it. At least I was better than taking a wild stab in the dark, literally.

'Hey, Nicole,' I asked as I was wrapping up, 'mind if I ask you for a favour?'

'That kind of depends on what it is, but go on.'

'Can I spar with you?'

Nicole frowned. 'Me? You sure? I'm not really much of a battler...'

'Neither am I.'

'Heh, yeah... Well... Alright, a quick one.' The Nidorina drew herself back to her hind legs. 'It'll be good for me to loosen the ol' joints, I guess.'

I smiled. 'Ready or not!'

'Re-' Nicole managed before I suddenly showered her with a toxic Venoshock, catching her off guard and making her stumble. 'Hey!'

'Don't say I didn't warn you!' I said cheerfully and lunged forward to Bite. Nicole, however, bodyswerved out the way and gave me a punch to the back of the head for my mistakes. 'Don't make it so obvious, Rob!'

I shook my head down and tried again. This time, I swung my tail out towards her, then as she moved to dodge I brought my other end round on its eight-foot circumference and unhinged my jaw to Bite. I just stopped my fangs on skin contact and looked up at her. 'Howa 'out 'at?'

'Don't hesitate!' Suddenly she gripped my head and spun me around, effectively turning me into a whirling hazard with a blade at the end of it. I tried to think downwards thoughts to perform Dig but physics had apparently had enough of me taking it for granted and there was nothing to stop me when Nicole suddenly let go and I flew like an arrow, into the wall. It would have been a Looney Toons setpiece if it didn't hurt so much.

I tried to think of how to use Dig as I lay there but nothing came to me, helpless. Nicole watched me, giving me the chance to rise, cracking her knuckles as she waited. I gave up trying and just thought Dig, now and suddenly there I was, underground. It really is an instinctual thing. Listening closely, I felt as if I had some sort of heightened sensitivity of the surface. Normally the earth would have been distressing for a poisonous animal like me, but now it felt good. This is my dirt. I'm the one who deals out the damage here.

I felt something above me that suggested Nicole's presence. She'll see it coming... Lunging out of the earth a foot to the side of where I was, I reared my head to see the Nidorina bowled over and disorientated, but not much more. Still, some damage. Work on anticipating others' responses, I think.

'Phew!' Nicole said, getting her breath back as she rose. 'Not bad! But wait for this!'

She threw herself at me for some sort of attack, but I intercepted with a Venoshock spray that made her falter in mid-move. My moment of smugness was short-lived though as she launched a sudden repeat blow and my head rang. So we seemed to struggle on for ages - dodges, the occasional strike, and mostly holding out for the moment where we caught each other by surprise.

I swung my tail blade - not even Poison Tail, just for effect - when Nicole suddenly caught it in her hand and said 'Ok, I hate to stop you but dinner's going to start soon. Wouldn't want to miss that after all this work, would we? Call it a draw, I guess.'

I blinked, surprised we'd been training so long. 'Wow, time flies doesn't it? I think...' I assumed a natural coil as my body untensed – this was becoming a surprisingly easy process. 'Actually using it in battle was a great help. Getting an idea of what works when and what doesn't. I...' I sighed. 'I got a long way to go, but I feel like I've started. I guess.'

Nicole nodded sagely. 'Everyone would tell you they could still improve. Even Lewis, although I don't see how. Speaking of which, we should probably go and eat something, by the time we get there dinner will be mostly gone.'

'Race?' I suggested with a smile.

'It's not a good race if the other guy gets lost halfway there. Come on, I'll give you directions.' Nicole walked past and cheerfully paw-bapped the back of my head as she walked. 'Don't disappoint me now, Mr. West.'

I grinned widely. 'I'll try not to.' In fact, I was raring to go. Anything, any chance, I was suddenly keen. Having done some work, I wanted to use it. Just something to see how I'd changed, a way to know my new life in and out, a chance to use my new potential. Anything that would let me get a little experimental and really put everything I had to the test. I was game. Bring it on.

My wish, it turned out, had already been granted.